Seamonster

My friends and I went on a Sunday for the "Tea Dance." We showed up around 5:15, since the postcard we had said it went from 5-7, but the place was literally empty when we got there. We got a little table in the outdoor bar (which was caged in and not very cute) and had some drinks (which were well made and fairly priced) and by the time the boys showed up we were wasted. By 6:30 the place was packed. We danced a little, drank more, and had a good time. The Moral: Show up late like all the rest of the boys!

My last visit to a gay club in Florida was last Sunday at Sea Monster T-Dance Party. From what I can remember the T-dance I’ve been are outside, usually by a pool, enjoying the sunset, with a nice number of men dancing and cruising. Fire Island started the trend, and Key West made it a “Le Must” on Sundays; that was back when Key West was Gay, before the emperor, before the dark times. The 40 stories Hilton’s allowed unlimited amounts of the straight crowd to vacation like a herd of cattle, and in the process they stampeded into every iconic and eclectic “gay exclusive resorts”. The straight crown is gracious enough to allow us into the resorts now labeled “Gay Friendly”. Sorry got side tracked on the subject!! Sea monster’s T-dance looks like a mandatory, court ordered gay town meeting. The parking in the surrounding area can easily hold over 1,200 cars, and is not enough. The Place is huge, but by 8:30PM, you can hardly navigate around the place unless you can bend like rubber, or tight like a virgin. There is actually a line to the men’s bathroom; absurd. Are they now selling tampons inside? Men’s urinals seem passé, and there are two bathroom stalls, and as you exit the stall, there is an attendant that has enough cosmetics and perfume to give you a makeover before you finish zipping your pants up. On Friday nights they have Latin night and free well drinks until 11:00PM. I met over 8 guys playing pool, drinking a lot of free beer, and told me that they are straight, but “gay friendly”. Translation: I am an alcoholic, lost my job, and in survival mode. They don’t even tip the bartender; that’s how brazen they are. I left after 30 minutes, and yes the same shirtless bunny gym crowd (a/k/a Master’s of the Universe) still “Strike a Pose” and only hang with their own click; insecurity is a bitch to overcome, and let’s not forget the quasi-transvestites, and the cha-cha queens screaming for attention by jumping up into the ledges with enough Botox to paralyze lower Manhattan. To quote the reviews by Men in Films, a skid from Living Color (80’s sitcom): Hate It!! Next week I leave for Europe, first stop, my favorite place: Gayxample Barcelona district.

Anyone who's been on the Fort Lauderdale party scene over the years will remember this place. It used to have the best T-dances on Sunday evenings. Music was always great, the drinks are reasonable priced, friendly bartenders and friendly crowd. The thing I really liked about this place is that it wasn't just another pretentious scene where pretty people came out to pose. You could just hang out there and have fun. Even if you came alone its the sort of place where its very easy to meet people. Unfortunately, the place had closed down a long, long time ago. It reopened again last month. I recently had an opportunity to check it out, and was very happy to see that it has the same cool, laid back ambiance as it did before. Its right across the river from where Jetset and Voodoo Lounge are located, so if you happen to be bar hopping in downtown Ft. Lauderdale on a Sunday evening you should definitely check it out.